This post was written by our Resident Sexual Health Clinician, Dr. Kathryn Ellis, OTR/L, OTD, AASECT-SC, an occupational therapist and American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists Certified Sexuality Counselor. If you'd like her to answer your questions, submit them at the end of this page.
Wheelchair users can often be curious about accessible and pleasurable sex positions. Many wheelchair users utilize their wheelchair or other durable medical equipment to assist them during sexy time and there’s also some none-wheelchair positions that will likely work well. Additionally, having to consider mobility and pain concerns can help to foster better communication and creativity between sexual partners.
The key is trying a couple of positions out and figuring out which ones work best for you and your partner/s. Keep a lighthearted approach to the experience. An amputee I worked with once shared with me, “you definitely have to approach sex through trial and error, keep laughing, and don’t be surprised if you fall, well actually, fly off the bed.”
Reverse Cowgirl
Reverse cowgirl is one of the easiest positions in a wheelchair, because the partner who is being penetrated is able to rest their legs and hands on the opposite side of the wheelchair. It makes for a great view for the person in the wheelchair, while most of the movement and thrusting is coming from the person sitting on top.
Impact Play from a Wheelchair
For folks who enjoy impact or power play, a wheelchair is a great place to dom from. The person in the wheelchair can hold different toys such as whips and floggers or give verbal orders to the other person. Even if you’re curious about impact play, give it a try but take things very slow. When you’re both getting used to it, start very gentle with your whips or hits and increase intensity as your partner tells you to.
Shower Chair Sex
I always say to my clients, “a shower chair isn’t that sexy, unless you’re having sex on it!” If you’re able to maintain some stability on a shower chair either through balance, by putting weight through your feet, or holding onto grab bars, a shower chair is a great play to get your sexy on. While the person is seated, the partner can pleasure them through oral by kneeling in front of them or through fingering them from behind.
Oral Sex
Oral sex can be performed right from the wheelchair and in many cases it can make you the perfect height. Consider having your partner seated at around face level, which might be a high bed, kitchen table, or counter.
Bear hug cuddling or hand play
Some of my clients who are wheelchair users talk about how they want to share physical affection with their partner/s while in their wheelchair, like “cuddling on a couch.” I typically suggest having their partner sit on a stool in front of them while they scoot forward in their wheelchair and give them a big bear hug from behind. Couples can do this without a shirt on to share skin to skin contact. Additionally, from this position, the partner in the wheelchair can reach their partner's genitals and provide a hand job or fingering.
Related articles: 6 Sex Positions for Stroke Survivors and 5 Adaptive Sex Toys